Im happy to say that the side effects have been much more tolerable. The ringing in my ears no longer give me headaches but its still giving me a hard time hearing. Volumes have to be turned up and talking to me you will have to speak a little louder. Making phone calls is difficult because of this and I apologize if I havent been able to speak to you on the phone. Please realize that talking on the phone longer than a few minutes will give me a headache.

Energy level is a little low and I started to have rashes all over my chest and shoulder because of low platelets. They itch just a little but once my blood counts go up they will dissapear and hopefully the mouth sores as well.

Thank you for all the prayers and encouragements, things would be much more difficult for me without it. I also want to say that I have the greatest mom in the world. I have never met anyone so patient and caring and I dont know what I would do without her. She is a great mom!

PS:
I am sending my prayers to those living near the Gulf Coast and I hope that they will be protected from any harm.

Sorry for the lack of happy posting, well actually lack of postings in general. I have been feeling lousy since receiving my chemo last week and still not feeling any better. The body aches continue to be bothersome and the shortness of breath makes moving around from room to room difficult. I feel like my independence slipping away as I have to rely on my mom for alot of things such as preparing food and getting my clothes ready. The worst side effect that im feeling right now is the constant ringing in my ears. This high shrill noise has been going on for a few days and its putting pressure on my head that results in severe headaches. I feel like im losing my hearing that I have to ask people to speak up when talking to me. It doesnt seem painful but trust me all of these side effects can really ruin your everyday routine and suck up all of your positive attitude.

I am so down and out that I just move from the bed to the couch and back to bed and not care about anything. Im complaining, but I dont care. Im frusturated. I want it to end. soon. Is that really too much to ask for? :(

I really dont feel good. I hope this gets better soon.

:(

Last chemo for a little while...

Yesterday and today I received my high dose Ara-C. This should be the last one for awhile (at least three weeks) depending on what Dr P recommend and what the tumors are doing. Today with all the pre-meds that the nurses gave me I really dont remember the times that I was there. It was either because I was so medicated or simply too tired and slept the whole entire time I was at the clinic. I am on so many pills more as a preventive measure rather than to treat the symptoms. Now I just feel lightheaded and tired constantly. I am still trying to figure out whether we took it too far with the preventive medications because I just feel useless right now.

My mouth is the only thing that is bothering me. My taste bud is awful, nothing tastes the way its supposed to and I keep tasting this acid-y taste which is very uncomfortable. The mouth sores are starting to make its debut in my mouth and the nausea will come and go during the night. Sleeping is starting to get uncomfortable but im still happy that I can squeeze in some sleep despite the random side effects. I am not feeling any pain from the tumors in my shoulder but I really cant tell whether its because of its size or the amount of painkillers that im taking.

Writing is so hard. I am beginning to get really tired. I want to apologize to those that have been trying to call me and I have not been able to respond. Please keep those encouraging messages comign through, I really do enjoy it when my mom read it to me. I love staying connected to all of you and thank you for continuing to be there for me! :)

To my fellow friends, have a fantastic first week of school! I wish I could be there on campus right now...

More pump...

I feel fortunate that things are going moderately well. Although my tumor is growing the swelling is not too bad and hasnt cause too much pain or making me cough. Eating is still difficult because of lack of appetite and taste change. It makes me a little sad that I dont enjoy eating as much as I used to especially when I remember loving my mom's cooking so much.

I went to the cancer center this morning for chemo. I am happy to know that all my blood counts are back to normal and there were no glitches with the treatment. I will be receiving Cisplatin on the 24 hour pump. So I will be coming back tomorrow for a different drug. Hope that the treatment goes well.

What I dont like about chemo is how tired it makes you feel. I really wanted to write more, but all I could think of right now is a nap. Which I think I will do right now. :P

I guess I just want to use this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who has helped with the fundraising. Whether is with your time and effort or through finances, I have never been so close to my goal of raising $100,000. The cost of the transplant seemed so daunting two months ago, but now its really comforting that we are at $81,000+ and really close to that final cost. So many people worked so hard and it is because of all of you this has been possible. Its such a cliche to say, but I feel like the most luckiest girl in the world.

Things are going well for me. I have never felt so good and healthy as I do this week. My blood counts are still really low, but im hoping that with yesterday's blood transfusion that it would take care of the low counts. I'm hoping that tomorrow's blood work will show continued improvements in counts so that I will be able to continue on with the DHAP chemo next week. The DHAP worked really well with the tumor despite being the cause that I was in the hospital.

Some may know the story about Eric Shanteau, the US Olympic swimmer, who despite being diagnosed with testicular cancer just last month continued to compete in the Olympics. He chose to delay treatment because it will put him out the waters for weeks that could put him out of the games. I find him to be so inspirational with the way he continued to pursue his dreams despite such a devastating news. I'm sure his family is going through alot with his dad also currently battling stage 4 lung cancer. I really thought that what he said is something that all cancer patients, old and young, should go by. "You can look at it one of two ways, you have cancer or cancer has you."

Uneventful - Just how I like it...

Things have been going positively for me the past few days. My health continues to be better and my energy level is going up. I just want to say thank you to Judith Karman Hospice for allowing me to borrow a wheelchair and letting me use it for as long as I need it. Moving around is alot easier and I am not so tired anymore. It was definitely a wonderful surprise and has come to be very useful for me.
On Saturday, there was a Mexican Benefit dinner to raise money for my transplant. Thank you to Miriam for cooking the wonderful meal. I have never tasted such a delicacy before. I wasn't much of fan of mexican food, but after the dinner I was convinced that enchiladas are the best thing ever. Not only were there chicken enchiladas there were also a vegetarian dish as well. I was very happy and humbled that so many people showed up to make the event so sucessfull. About $1300 were raised that night. I feel so lucky and blessed with how the fundraising is going. A hundred thousand dollars seems impossible about two months ago, but with the help of so many kind people I am very close to my goal!
I twisted my ankle after the dinner when I fell outside in the rain because I was a klutz. If it werent for the help of Haerani (a wonderful woman!) my ankle would probably be swollen. It still swell up the next day but I know it would have been worst if if werent for her help with the ankle.
I will see Dr P tomorrow. Hopefully things will go the way its supposed to tomorrow.
I guess thats all for now, I do hope that everyone is enjoying the olympics, I know I am! :)

Low platelets...

Apparently I was wrong with my self-diagnosis. The cause of the itchiness and the redness was not caused of by the summer's sweltering heat, but because my platelets were low. My blood is unable to heal itself which explains that spots on my skin and the really bad itch. I found out about this when I had my blood drawn today at the Cancer Center. I wondered why they kept me there for an unusually long time when all I had to do was some blood work. I knew something was not right and Anita (the nurse) notified me about the condition of my platelets. She wanted me to get a platelet transfusion and so it is.

Around two this afternoon I went to the infusion clinic to get some platelets. It looks nothing like blood. In fact, its gooey and yellow that reminds me of a thick creamy broth. I had to take some tylenol before the transfusion to help with my never ending fever problem. After getting my temperature to be around 100 or so they finally gave me the platelets. The transfusion was short and sweet because it lasted only 30 minutes. It made me very happy. So far there's no reaction and im continuing to feel better and better. My energy level is improving and hopefully with the extra platelet boost I can have a good weekend. My appointment with Dr P has been bumped from Monday to Tuesday.

Right now I am still on alot of medications and I dread the times during the day when I have to take those pills. I hate pills and despise them more than anything. Its a crazy love/hate relationship that I have with my meds. I know that I cant get better without it, but I hate the crazy side effects that comes with the pills and plus one of my pills to help with my potassium level are the size of horse pills. They're huge! I gag everytime I take it, even when they're already cut in half. Meds taste disgusting and they leave a horrible aftertaste as well.

Well thats all I have for now. Please know that your support and prayers has really helped me get through this tough time. Please wish me luck that my body will continue to heal and that the tumor will stay under control since I will not be able to receive any type of treatment next week, which is very crucial. Have a wonderful evening everyone.

The never ending itch...

Im happy to say that because of my mom's TLC everyday is alot better day than before. I am able to tolerate the pills and are eating alot more than I was. Still not much food, just little stuff like broth for lunch and one scrambled egg for the evening with ensure in between. I could feel my energy level picking up and I was able to control the times that I doze off alot better.

Moving from one room to another is still a little hard. I would get a little light headed and out of breath, but with lots of rests and moving slowly helps with the problem. For the first time in a week, I finally saw how tattered my legs are. I dont know whether its because of the chemo drugs or the drugs they gave me at the hospital, but I had a major sweat and itch problem while I was in hospital. The itch was so bad that I could care less about anything else, so I scratched the heck out of it. Now my legs are hurting a little from the continuous scratching and well now it looks like my legs were mauled by tigers and it definitely doesnt help me walking from one place to another either. My mom has been good about making me to stop scratching so that the welts and the redness could heal. But dont tell her this, I scratch when she's not looking. I feel guilty.

I am due for a check up tomorrow. I hope things are good and that im on my way to recovery from this rough week.

Just wanted to let everyone know that im still around. After my chemo on Tuesday and Wednesday my overall condition was awful. My nausea was so severe that I kept losing everything I had in my tummy. I couldnt eat, drink, or even hold my pills down. I went to the hospital on Wednesday and because of many different complications I wasn't discharged until Sunday evening. It has been an awful week for me, I am not completely out of the woods yet, but im glad that im out of the hospital. The doctor is going to monitor me this week and we'll see where we go from here. :(