TGIF?

So I may have pushed myself a little too much with all the activities today. There was another TV interview, a visit to the Cancer Care, and some work for the charity sale tomorrow. It doesnt seem much but its enough to wear me out. I feel dead beat tired and my whole entire back is aching.

This morning I did an interview for KWTV Channel 9 News. It was a little more relaxed because I wasnt hooked up to an IV nor was it done at the Cancer Center. They came over to my house to ask me about my conditions, the charity garage sale, and how cancer impacted my life. I was still as bad in front of the camera as the first time, but I think this one went alot smoother. Im glad that they came today, any earlier during the week they would have gotten a mumbling Rina that would give incoherent answers because of the drugs and the sores. Good timing Channel 9 and awesome segment, I feel very priveleged and lucky that they are willing to run my story.

Then I went to the Cancer Center to do bloodwork to see how my body is doing. My result was mediocre. I am doing better but still not good. I was running a temperature (again!) and my WBC is still low, my RBC has improved as expected because of the transfusion yesterday, and my platelets are still low. A little dissapointed with the results because I might/might not receive more chemo on Monday. If I do, I cant imagine how angry my body will be towards me, I am dreading the days following the treatment. "Uggggh....." Hope my body will suck it up and last through it. But more than likely it will be delayed if things dont look up this weekend with my blood counts and overall condition. I hate delays because I don't want to give the cancer a breather, which means a chance for it to start growing again. I can't let that happen. I have been fortunate that I have never had a treatment delayed and I really would hate to start now.

I am nervous for Monday. I hope Dr P will have something positive to tell me. He is a wonderful doctor, he is tough with the treatment because he knows that I can handle it. Though I hope that this tough treatment wouldnt last too long, I have to get to transplant soon. I have never wanted something so bad. I pray everyday that the bone marrow transplant will be the end of the chapter for this phase in my life. I believe that Dr P and Dr H will try their darndest to get me there.

Now my mini mission will begin. I must take care of my self this weekend and hopefully with the help of God I can continue to improve my overall condition. Whether or not Dr P will give me chemo on Monday, I need to show him that I can handle anything that he throws at me. I really dont want him to be hesitant about any treatment options simply because he is concerned whether or not I am physically fit for it.

Wow! I am more nervous about Monday than I realized. I will know the future treatment plans from Dr P on Monday. I guess I have the right to be nervous. But I shouldnt be nervous. I dont know, stressing isn't going to help im sure.