Rambles ...

Wow! I cant believe how crazy and hectic things have been around here. I have been at the ACTCA for the past 18 or 19 days and now im just not really sure. This is the first time that im able to be on the computer in awhile and its a bummer that im really tired and drugged out.
Lets just say that I have my PICC replaced, had a balloon around my vena cava (sp?) to help my heart, a chemo shot everyday, having to be put on oxygen then realized that it was actually not good for me, and actually finished radiation. Now the future plans are to have another surgery on the liver and continue on with my chemo treatment.

But despite all the craziness I am happy to say that my tumors continue to shrink with the radiation and the bleomycin. My blood pressure is back to normal and the heart rate is also normal with the medication that Dr Burke prescribed. I hope that the liver surgery will go smoothly on Monday and that I can just continue to concentrate on only the chemo for the next couple of months. There's more that I wish to share with all of you but the pills really wore me out and let me tell ya this IV pole is not light ha ha! so when I have a chance I will write more. Thank you for the love and support that everyone has given me....I want to let you know that im doing alright and im continuing to fight it. :)

x0x0,
Rina

The new drug ....

Today I had my second dose of Bleomycin. It was a rough day for me because early at about 2 AM my mom took me to the ER here in Stillwater because my temperature was at 104.1 F which considered to be dangerous and also my tumors were giving me major pain that I was crying in agony. I couldnt move my left arm without feeling like someone was pushing a knife through my shoulder. My Fentanyl patch (pain killer) wasn't cutting it anymore and so I took Dilaudid, another form of pain killer but the pain was still there and I was burning. The hospital was able to ease my pain by giving me more of the Dilaudid through IV so that it would work quickly while at the same time giving me some Tylenol to lower my temperature. After staying for about two hours the pain was gone and I was discharged from the hospital even though my temperature was still a little bit high but I was no longer in the risk zone anymore. We stopped by some McDonalds to get some nuggets which was quite nice to have after a cruddy night. hah!

Unfortunately, I forgot that Dilaudid would make me itch all over my body. I could not sleep the rest of the night. I wanted to tell my mom about it but she was fast asleep and I really didnt want to bother her with it. So I sucked it up but I was powerless and kept on scratching where it it itches. The lack of sleep caused me to be breathless and a high pulse rate that would reach to about 150 to 160 (normal rate in a resting position should be about 100 or so). I kept trying to sleep but it was impossible. Tante Haerani and my mom drove me to Tulsa for my chemo.

I am hoping to meet with Dr Calava, the pain specialist regarding my narcotics and its reactions. I have a hard time with morphine which causes nausea, but im beginnning to wonder whether it would be more tolerable thant taking Dilaudid for the pain. Maybe Dr Calava would be able to suggest other pain killers that would help. My dietician is trying to make me gain a little bit of weight because im losing the pounds way too quickly and gave me a menu that would be filling but at would still follow my organic eating plan. I am a firm believer that the chemicals out there whether its in our food or airborne is a major reason for this horrible disease.

Off topic: my mom is the best! I really dont know how she pulls off from difficult tasks.
I will also share my time as a terminal patient under hospice and how we found Dr Pollock :)

xoxo,
Rina

Hello CTCA ...

I cant believe it has been two weeks that I updated my blog. Things have been pretty hectic and emotional around here. I received my second dose of Vincristine at Cancer Care but as the days passed I noticed that the chemo did not treat the tumors at all and the growth continued. I must say that I was really disappointed with how things were going. I am glad that the swelling is not giving me any discomfort because of the new Fentanyl patch that I have started to use. The amount of pills that I had to take everyday continue to increase and it sunk me into a deep depression. I hate to think that things may get worse for me instead of getting better. As usual my parents was my rock they continued to support me and helped to fight on.

During a doctor visit with Dr Puckett I received a shocking news, he informed my mom and I that the treatment choices for a cure is no longer available. I was recommended palliative care and that the only thing left to do is to make sure that I was comfortable. I could not believe it! I didn't want to believe that I might be dying! But I wasn't going to give up that easily. My mom and dad worked to the point of exhaustion to find oncologists and hospitals everywhere that are willing to treat me. It wasn't easy but we found Cancer Treatment Centers of America. It's a great hospital that can be compared in quality with MD Anderson, Mayo Clinic and Sloan Kettering. I was also happy to meet with my new doctor, Dr Pollock. He's had 35+ years of experience as an oncologist, had worked at Sloan Kettering and also opened up a private practice for many years, led top researches in neck and head cancers and most importantly are willing to take on my complicated lymphoma case. My mom was a little hesitant that he might give up on me if options run out and he joked "even if we hav to intravenous dog poop through your daughter we will give her something and I will keep trying to treat her." hah! what a silly doc! After he goes on with the different treatment possibilities I know that things will be alright and I hate to consider myself to be terminal. I trust that Dr Pollock will be able to take care of me and the rest of the CTCA team, which consists of other medical specialists.
Well there's more to share but I am getting tired at the moment so I shall continue this at another time. Wish me luck that Dr Pollock's plan of treatment will be successful. I plan on meeting with him again this week and perhaps start the treatment at the same time.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

xoxo,
Rina

Things are going well...

The Cytoxin regimen has been tolerable so far. Its a four day treatment and im halfway done with it. After that I will be receiving a week of Neupogen shot while continusly being watched for infections and doing blood work. I take about ten pills a day, its such a pain but I know they are just preventive stuff and I know its better than coming down with something horrible like pneumonia or something. I do hope that this good fortune will continue and the tumor will continue to shrink and slow down the growth.
Its sad that Valerie, one of the Cancer Care nurse, no longer work at the clinic. She was such a wonderful nurse and human being overall. So caring and she took care of me well. I wish her the best to whatever she choose to do from here. I will miss seeing her face and caring personality at the center.
Yesterday was the first time that I was able to go to the stores and shop in a long time. It was really nice to be out and about and do something that I love to do which was shopping and it was so much fun! :)
That is all the news I have and I hope that everyone had a good hump day today.

xoxo,
Rina

And it continues ...

Im happy to say that the lack of update was because my health has been improving. Although the cancer and the swelling is there, the growth of it have been under control and slow. I was able to be more active within the past week and are able to do the stuff that I want to do. Although I am feeling well my weekly blood work showed that my red, white blood and platelets shows that I am prone to infection and are not at the level that is safe.

My platelets are low and they usually do not treat patients with the count of 46, but Dr. P had decided togo and treat me tomorrow. Please pray that everything will go smoothly and that my health continues to improve!

10K Nike Human Race...

My friend, Kim, ran the 10k Nike Human Race in Austin, TX. She suprised me by running the race in my honor. Kim has been a wonderful friend and support. She is definitely a "winner" in my road race. Thanks Kim!

Things are progressively getting better. The sores in my mouth are gone and even my taste buds are back. I can taste the food that I eat again and its wonderful. I am still struggling with my fever despite having taken Tylenol, my temperature would always go back up to around 101 to 103. Also, the mystery rash on my chest is still there and now its starting to itch. My mom would put powder on it which would relieve it a little bit. Whenever I am in pain I keep remembering that God still cares about me and he would not give me a challenge or difficulties more than I could handle. I know that all of this has made me into a stronger person. There is always a positive that comes out the negative.

So there's wildflowers growing outside of my backyard and I saw some sunflowers blooming, I decided to pick one up and put it in my room. The flower looks gorgeous on my desk. The other thing that made me happy was the fact that I was outside and was able to enjoy the nice weather.

Over the weekend there was a car wreck that killed three OSU students and one of them was a close friend of mine. Christian Wright had an addictive personality and was someone that you could count on for anything. When I heard that he and his girlfriend as well as another person passed away I couldnt believe it. I saw Christian not so long ago and he gave me a hug and said "you get well soon, I dont like seeing you sick" haha! He made it sound like it was an order that I have to finish. I will miss him greatly and my condolences to the family of Kelli Mellon, Christian Wright and Chris Bellmer. I really hate when something like this happens. :(